It's the little things that don't matter that tend to make us think about life

By Ed Martin, The Leader Editor
It's the little things that don't matter that tend to make us think about life

I’ve always found it hard to write a bitchy column. Bitchiness and rudeness comes easy to some people, say like a Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, all of whom have brought new meaning to the word “liar.”

However, bitchiness and rudeness certainly don’t come naturally to me. Even using hurtful words and profanity in casual conversation is – for the most part – pretty much foreign to my sense of right and wrong.

For example, I’ve never used such language in describing a friend or a loved one – just wasn’t in my nature. I rarely utter a profane word, but when I do it’s only in the rarest of circumstances, like when my dog decides to use the Kings Lions Club Park for a toilet - and I forget the doggy bags. I end up scrounging the nearest trash can for a suitable replacement.

That’s just the kind of guy I am.

There are other instances, but they’re far and few between. By the way anybody want a somewhat lovable pooch who enjoys an occasional romp in the park?

However, while I often manage to maintain a reserved demeanor, I sometimes can get irritable, often when I’m dealing with some form of customer service, whether it’s on the phone or waiting in line at the supermarket.

Waiting in line at the grocery store checkout aisle is particularly frustrating. Inevitably I get in the wrong line at the supermarket, usually the one where 90 percent of purse-carrying shoppers may spend upwards of two minutes rummaging through a purse in search of that elusive credit card or wallet – all while a long line of shoppers, credit cards already in hand, wait patiently.

I always seem to be one of those guys who manages to find just the right short line, which suddenly turns into the longest wait, as I wait “patiently” as the person in front of me manages to hold the line up by conducting a quick treasure hunt in her purse while the store’s clerk and a long line of shoppers behind her wait.

Rather than having his or her card firmly in hand, with an eye on the card reader, the customer has decided that he or she will wait until the groceries have been accounted for, and upon hearing the charges, finally reaches into her purse, and after a minute or so of rummaging through the purse, finally pulls out her credit card and then slowly slides it through the machine, much to the delight of myself and the seven people behind me waiting in line. She has clearly added an additional 20-25 minutes to the process while others wait patiently in line.

Quite often, she is reminded by the clerk that she must press a button to continue.

Technology is amazing. Here’s how I conduct myself while waiting for my groceries to be accounted for. I have my card in hand prepared to do my civic duty and not make the good folks behind me wait any longer than required.  While my groceries are being rang up, I slide the card and punch the necessary buttons as my six-pack of Bud passes the price scanner. If everybody did that, the wait time in line would be drastically reduced.

Unfortunately, most people don’t care about the next guy in line, and in my case I believe there may be a massive conspiracy among the residents of Lemoore to purposely annoy me by taking an inappropriate amount of time at the checkout counter.

Uh oh. Price check needed on my Bud Light. Never mind.

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