President Trump? An Ivy League Forrest Gump with the nuclear codes

Donald Trump announced the surprising news Friday night at a campaign stop in Syria – where the local citizenry there is building a wall to keep him out – and then make every “Apprentice” contestant that ever appeared on Trump’s show, pay for it.

Really Donald? The president of the United States founded ISIS? He is responsible for the same nut bags that chop off heads and force women into prostitution? Obama’s the chairman of the board and Hillary Clinton is his CEO?

Speaking of Syria, if the Republican nominee for president can visit Connecticut, where a Republican hasn’t won the presidency since Herbert Hoover, he may as well campaign in the Middle East, or for that matter, the radical state of California, because his chances of winning are roughly the same.

But this thing about Obama founding ISIS? If I had known Obama was a radical Muslim, was born in Kenya, and reads the Koran while sipping Johnnie Walker Red, I probably wouldn’t have voted for him – twice! Johnnie Walker Red? Ouch!

And to think I learned all this from Trump, who as far as I know, has always delivered unto us, the truth, and nothing but the truth.

Donald is so misunderstood. He says it’s the dirty, rotten, crooked, scumbag media that’s got him all wrong, and with every word he utters, before throngs of rabid fire-breathing supporters, Trump makes sure his “people” know what he thinks about the hundreds of journalists who follow him from New York to Altoona.

At this very moment, I’m sitting at my office desk watching Mr. Trump literally foaming at the mouth, delivering yet another one of his “factual” diatribes about Clinton, Obama or the 50 former Republican security officials who says having the Republican presidential candidate in charge of the nuclear codes, might not be a good thing.

The “Establishment” Republicans can’t stand him, nor can defense experts, security officials, a lot of Republican elected officials and of course my dog Kody, who barks incessantly when he sees Trump on TV.

And he continues to talk, but is it just me, or does he sound like he’s been hitting the Johnnie Walker Red a little too often. But the guy doesn’t drink, at least that’s what he says. He apparently doesn’t smoke or gamble either, unless it’s with someone else’s money, and I’ve noticed that when a teleprompter is parked in front of him, he often appears to slur his words as if he’d just had a few shots of Red. And when he speaks, minus his teleprompter, he doesn’t sound drunk at all, just stupid.

No, I’ve decide that Senor Trump’s thesis – that Obama founded ISIS, might just be a little off the mark – or maybe it’s that he completely ignorant of the facts. After all the Wharton School of Business graduate, and notorious draft dodger, claims to never have read books or seem the slightest bit interested in anything other than McDonald’s or Twitter.

The Donald often stretches the truth – actually he lies incessantly – and claims that his opponents and the media are all lying about his record. This from a guy who mocked a disabled reporter during one of his Nuremberg-type rallies and then denied it, despite the fact that over 3 million persons have viewed the exchange on YouTube. The list of Trump’s falsehoods continues to grow:

• He knocked former POW and United States Senator John McCain insisting that he’s a war hero because he got captured. “I like people that weren’t captured,” opined the mighty Trump.
• He said FOX news anchor Megyn Kelly wasn’t fair to him during a debate. “You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.” Hmm.
• House Speaker Paul Ryan said Trump’s comments – about a judge overseeing a civic lawsuit against him – wasn’t fair because his parents were Mexican and was “the textbook definition of a racist comment.”
• He attacked the Khans, the proud Gold Star parents of a heroic Army Captain who died in Iraq while serving his country. Republicans lined up to disavow his awkward comments.

The list goes on. By now most of us who read newspapers, watch CNN, tune in to FOX or keep up with “The Bachelor” are well aware of Trump’s continual gaffes. The guy just can’t help it.

If I had to give any advice, and I’m quite loath to, based on my long history of giving such advice, you probably wouldn’t take it. But still, I humbly suggest that as concerned citizens, you acquaint yourself with Mr. Trump and Ms. Clinton. Read books, magazines, maybe an occasional paper, and perhaps listen to the self-praising analysts that pop up on CNN, MSNBC or Fox News on a regular basis. Many of them are self-serving hacks for the various candidates, but one still might be able to come to a decent conclusion as to which candidate shouldn’t have his or her hands on the nuclear codes – or the pulse of our country.

 Join the discussion at the bottom of this page ..