A friendly enough letter to our congressman from Kings County

I sleep peacefully now, assured that you and your congressional colleagues are keeping American robust and safe as you collectively tackle the demanding issues facing America: Russians cavorting in our elections, tragic school shootings, the degrading environment, the lack of water development, education, North Korea, the opioid crisis, DACA, the “Me Too” movement, immigration, and our nation’s rapidly deteriorating place in the world – not to mention America’s current obsession with pistachios.

Your social media message reminds me of birthday cards sent me by my late grandmother, a kindly woman, born in 1900 (as a teenager in Johnson City, Texas, Grandma was Lyndon Johnson’s babysitter) who lived to the ripe age of 95. I could always expect a crisp $5 bill enveloped in her annual birthday greeting. Your Tweet delivered that same kind of fuzzy, warm feeling, much like my grandmother’s birthday card – or it could have been gas.

I certainly enjoy hearing from you, whether it’s one of your colorful mailers or a colorful tweet about pistachios.  I eagerly await your next tweet extolling the virtue of the walnut.

I discovered your tweet hidden between a pair of Donald Trump tweets extolling the virtues of himself and of course his unfortunate diatribes about Mr. Magoo, his humorous but demeaning references to United States Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

With all the problems in this country, you can find the time to honor National Pistachio Day with a tweet. Well done sir!

Indeed, I was not aware – and I’m positive most of your electorate was not – that 98 percent of pistachios are grown in California? I knew it was a lot – but 98 percent? Impressive statistic. How is the forgotten pecan faring?

You are a master of words and images. Last year, rather than waste your constituents’ time with a meddlesome town hall, you graciously provided 10 minutes of private conversations as Kings County residents lined up outside your Hanford office waiting patiently to speak with you – whether about the state of the country, or your latest nut anecdote.

I’m not sure you were aware, but a few months ago the Kings County Jimmy Carter Club, a local Democratic organization (the Kings County Democratic Central Committee has mysteriously disappeared) held a town hall in your honor. I guess you didn’t get the invitation. They missed you, but they did have a cute cardboard cutout of your image on hand.

I fully understand that your unwavering interest in the lonely pistachio may have hampered your ability to produce and pass legislation. I perused your sponsored legislation and learned that in three terms you’ve sponsored in the neighborhood of 23 bills, one of them – a law preventing Social Security fraud – was passed and signed by the president.

Months ago, I requested an interview, suggesting a sit down the next time you’re in Kings County, but I never got an answer from anybody connected with your office. In fact, I haven’t heard from your office in months: press releases, memos, updates? It’s almost as though my email and address have mysteriously disappeared from your database.

One assumes that the less a congress member is seen or heard, the more his or her election prospects dramatically improve.

Your neighbor, Rep. Devin Nunes, who rules the roost just next door in California’s 22nd District, seems to have developed a severe case of stage fright too. Is he refusing open forums – in a solidly Republican district?  

The Fresno Bee recently published a column stating that the only time his constituents hear from Little Devin is when he appears on Fox and Friends or he’s fielding “softball” questions from local radio KMJ’s version of Edward R. Murrow, the hard-hitting Ray Appleton.

But, hold a fundraiser at $2,700-a-plate, and Nunes is there – so says The Bee.

The charming congressman’s timely response was to refer to The Bee as “a rag.”

Nunes is undoubtedly garnering his share of the Washington D.C. spotlight as he leads his dysfunctional House Intelligence Committee currently investigating Russian interference in the 2016 U.S. Presidential Campaign.

At least I think that’s what he’s doing.

Discredited secret memos and clandestine sojourns to the White House aside, his committee has become something of a joke. As chairman, Mr. Nunes has become a national punchline for comedy talk show hosts and editorial page editors.

The New York Times called the Nunes memo a “Nothing Burger.” In 2017, the Los Angeles Times said that Nunes, in his role as chairman of the House Intelligence Community, “can’t credibly investigate either the Russian matter or the allegations” that the Obama administration improperly exposed the identities of Americans caught up in surveillance of foreigners.

If I could give some advice to your, Mr. Valadao, you might distance yourself from Mr. Nunes, if you haven’t already.

I don’t think it’s just pistachio farmers who like you; there are plenty of hard-working folks who love you. You are a Republican in a Democratic district. People just like you. I even voted for you last time. And how many California Republicans in his blue dominated state are running for re-election without a Democratic opponent?

You might keep that in mind as you ponder your next tweet or decide to keep constituents waiting in long lines. for a mere 10 minutes of your precious time.