Pacific Rim quickly out of theaters, and rightly so

Film Critic Richie Danhakl
Film Critic Richie Danhakl

If movie director Michael Bay and one-time Unabomber Ted Kasinski spawned a love child, “Pacific Rim” would be the unfortunate infant, and an ugly one at that. Explosions here, robots there, and ambitious predictions of what technology in the very near future will be like spattered everywhere.

  That’s how I imagined the pitch for “Pacific Rim” going. And since this kind of idea only appeals to impressionable twelve year olds, I’m assuming the dimwit responsible for green lighting this catastrophe needs some quick psychoanalysis. The point is, this movie made “Transformers” look like an indie French art-house film.

Ok, enough insults, let’s get down to the logistics. The premise of “Pacific Rim Shot” is pretty much the same as “Godzilla” a Japanese-born behemoth, hell-bent on human genocide who emerges from the sea and ransacks a major city.

The only difference is that in “Pacific Rim” there are a plethora of monsters hell bent on attacking every city in the world, with the possible exception of Washington D.C. Seems the monsters can’t stomach the smell. So in a last chance effort to save the world, the United Nations best and brightest come together and decide that  in order to fight big ugly monsters they must build better looking monsters and then spend the next few years draining the planet’s resources on Project Humongous, Alien Killing Robot.

Other than a confusing romantic side-plot between the two co-pilots of the robot, that’s about all you need to know. No spoiler alerts needed for this forgettable film because I walked out after about an hour and forty five minutes. So if you’re curious about the ending, you’ll have to brave that one out for yourself or catch it on Netflix because it didn’t last long in the theaters.

           

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